beyond what i see

...

2012-01-29T01:25:00.001+08:00

Life seems to be on the down side these days albeit the festivities. :(

Job? Checked.
Relationship? Checked.
Friendships? Checked.

The only silver lining seems to be my family. They are always there whenever things are falling apart. :)

Sometimes it feels like I am hanging on to mediocre. Not having the courage to let that go cos I might end up with nothing. But I'm slowly realising that this isn't making me happy. Mediocre has become my obstacle.

Then again 'perfect' does not happen in reality.

Sigh.

2011-09-28T21:48:00.000+08:00

"In life, you learn lessons. sometimes you learn them in a hard way, sometimes you learn them too late."

...why do we mess things up when they're all good?

2011-09-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

2011-06-30T22:28:00.001+08:00

Maybe it was better that way.

I wish u'd drop your mask face everyone with your true self.

2011-06-28T23:14:00.001+08:00

we are not technologically compatible. at all.

2011-06-27T16:50:00.003+08:00

Hello Neglected Space.

2011-06-01T00:34:00.001+08:00

my OLD laptop is up and.. i wont say "running", that will be pushing it too far, but it's definitely working with a little help of a cooling agent. it feels gd typing away on the laptop. blogging from bb is rather inefficient. prob gd for sudden outbursts of extreme desire to blog.

argh. there are a few things i need to fix right now. my job, my weight, my propensity to complain. the first and last items prob go hand in hand. i'm not too sure if it's cos i'm doing something i dread right now that makes me such a bitch or it's cos i am a bitch hence find my job not to my liking. either way, one thing i know for sure, the skill set required is not my forte. in fact, it's prob my weakest area. it's gd that by putting myself through this, with a GREAT deal of practice, i might able to become more meticulous and careful. then again, taking chances on the multi-million deals each day to hone my tiny flaw seems abit "generous" no?

it's no help only knowing what i hate. i hate cockroaches. i hate men who do not behave like one. i hate my allergy to alcohol.... blah blah.. i still do have the slightest clue what i should do.

maybe the attention should be focused on finding things i enjoy. though most of my hobbies will end up making me a poor as hell, maybe.... some good may come outta it.

been dreaming up a plan that might just combine my interests and weakness to work for me. still gathering all the ingredients to see if this dish is a go or no-go. it's been awhile since i'm this excited. :)

Are You?

2011-04-12T23:04:00.001+08:00

If I can't walk by ur side. Will carry me on your back?

It's not willfulness nor is it the lack of appreciation. the shadows from the past are just too much to fight off. I am running on my reserves this time.

Are u really ready for this?

who am i?

2011-03-21T00:53:00.003+08:00

I don't really like the person I've become. Whether it's due to work, the people, the environment or the things I've been throught, I don't know. Maybe it's a combination of all.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Then again I don't have to conform and continue this way.

Time to make a change. More humility and less judgmental. Yep.

2011-03-10T23:36:00.002+08:00

Rainy night. Emo songs on radio. Choco biscuit. Bright nails.

I'm quite enjoying the night. :)

No point keeping everything inside n rob myself of the chance to enjoy the better things life offers. Hmm. Let's take it as a chance to be on the other side. A humbling experience.

maybe I've just perfected the art to cheer myself up.

i'm scared.

2011-01-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

My Bday!

2011-01-09T22:02:00.004+08:00

The first cake i received was from the nice guys at work! Cheryl and i are both Jan babies so we got an extra large cake to celebrate together.

Birthday started with brunch at Epicurious. Food was alright and Robertson Quay always a nice place to be on weekends.

...and ended at Rebel+Zirca. if Zirca closes because of the lack of revenue, it must be the bouncers. apparently they do let people in by the backdoor without having to pay!

Drinks. Still surviving..

Kisses for the Jan bday girls!

my night was ended by a single shot. cant believe i was almost killed by such a small quantity of liquid in a tiny glass. OMG. i would never ever do this again. well.. at least while the memory is still fresh. :)

i am really happy my quarter century birthday was marked by tonnes of well wishes and was surrounded by family and friends. Thanks for taking the time off to spend the day with me and making me feel really loved by making it a special one for me! :)

Mom's Birthday

2011-01-05T22:29:00.004+08:00

Was my mom's birthday yest and i took the day off to make a meal for her. one of my happiest bday was when someone cooked for me so i thought she would like it too. knowing full well the level of my culinary expertise (or the lack of it), i chose to do steamboat!

morning was spent at the market, not the super kind but the wet one. apparently it's not necessarily fresher nor cheaper there. Was conned by a corn. a stalk cost me $2.50!! even a cup of nicely steamed and buttered one cost less then that. argh. and so i went home and started preparation from 1pm all the way till 5pm. it was till 5pm cos that's when my mom got home and kinda took over. hee.

dinner ended with a cake and a handmade card. i used to cook and make cards for her when i was younger but as i get older, i ended up buying her ready-made cards and taking her out for dinners. So I hope she likes this.

hmm.. guess my bday would be different this year. no more stew beef and Regent's praline cake. it's gonna be scrambled eggs, sausages and pancakes with the girls this time..! :)

不是不在乎，也不是没察觉。
只是太痛了，怕了。

Minger's 24th Bday!

2011-01-01T13:53:00.002+08:00

@ Capricci

Copies of each other. :)

Tuna tatare, suckling pig, tiramisu, choco cake, wines..

All mine. wahha.

A card to remind her how awkward we used to be!

We apparently stole the table from the prince of Brunei. The waiter had to ask him to shift to another cos we reserved it. ops.

We headed over to Unwind after dinner. Play was beside it. Interesting sight when the connecting doors were opened after midnight cos it was lesbian night at Play. hahah.

I had a great night. It's finally your turn! Happy bday Minger! :)

RAW.

2010-12-30T00:01:00.001+08:00

Living in a bubble is good.

Phant

2010-12-26T23:04:00.001+08:00

Packed my room today. Decided to let go of Phant. I put him at the stairway. He should be taken away by the cleaners when I wake up tomorrow.

It's for the best I guess.

Christmas!!**

2010-12-26T21:15:00.001+08:00

Dinner @ Chalk. Great food. Bad stairs.

KTV at Chinatown

Thank god for all the last minute arrangements that went through. Someone cancelled his reservation at Chalk and freed a table for us. We were also given a last minute upgrade of KTV room to a bigger one.

Hope everyone had a blessed Christmas! :)

A Pleasant Surprise

2010-12-21T23:18:00.001+08:00

It's really interesting when I try so hard to find something, I end up not only wasting much time and effort, i got nothing in return. Just when I decide to leave it alone, the most unexpected person came and gave it freely to me. Exactly what I wanted and more.

Life is filled with pleasant surprises. :)

Immanuel :)

2010-12-19T19:42:00.001+08:00

2010-12-14T09:15:00.001+08:00

Korea! Let's make it happen yeah?! :)

Good Bye Hazelnut Latte..

2010-12-07T01:12:00.006+08:00

I'll usually get a hazelnut latte when I go
starbucks. That's cos it's the next closest thing to their TOFFEENUT LATTE. One thing I love abt christmas is that it's the season for toffeenut drinks! Yums. Rem to hv it with whip cream!

And cos I can't resist one earlier tonight, I'm hyper alert at this time. Not good at all. Heh. Maybe I shld use this time to plan my new year goals. Esp since someone politely pointed out that I'm gonna be a quarter of a century old in a few weeks......

Next year
Get a driving license
Make jogging regular
Find a career I'm passionate about
Visit taiwan with family
Get involve with church ministries

1-3 years
Excel in my career
Travel europe

3-5 years
Let mom retire
Get my dip in piano

Quite a list already. Shall refine it over the next few days! :)

Jogwalk

2010-12-05T22:29:00.002+08:00

i went jogging today! finally did it after 6 years.

but guess wad...

bro was shocked when i got back. he thought i bearly left the house and was back again. heh. apparently i was suppose to run for more than an hour. moreover, i have to JOG, not jog-walk. ops.

there's gonna be a x'mas present exchange at work and i was suppose to get a cologne. since the budget it's btwn 15-20 bucks, it was really a challenge. but with the help of the girls, we managed to find something decent for the price!

this week is gonna be a great week! :)

Cinderel-Lah

2010-12-04T02:17:00.003+08:00

just got back from Cinderel-lah! Though I enjoyed Boeing Boeing more but the injections of singapore context are simply hilarious. Prince charming, the son of a rich crab hawker, horse carriage replaced by MRT and fairy godmachi became fairy godmother. Get the idea? It was interactive, with the actors mingling amongst the audience several times in the show. Moreover, the show was for a cause. what better charitable org than the Make a Wish Foundation? :)

As for work, the last few days of this wk is like an obstacle course. But I'm happy for the opp to learn more. :)

Gonna try to wake up at 8am to go for a jog. The last time I jogged was... Some 6 yrs ago?? Haha. Wish me luck!

hello!

2010-12-03T00:03:00.001+08:00

i've decided to abandon the previous blog and move here. the old blog is full of reminders of the past. i kinda used it to vent all my emotions. time to let it all goooooo.. time to be nicer to myself and the people around me who are genuinely worth it. :)

will update this place soon! bedtime for now! :))